It’s a fact of life, though not a particularly well-discussed one, that hot women will often have no problems dating or even marrying “ugly” guys. There’s no shortage of guys who by most standards are ugly for one reason that are well-known studs. If you’re prepared to deal with the annoying “load another ad” slideshow content on this page, you’re going to find literally dozens of examples of ugly guys who are currently in a relationship with a woman most people would agree is hot.
The so-called “hot girl, ugly guy” phenomenon is so pervasive seemingly unnatural and weirdly unintuitive that it has inspired the “Beauty and The Beast” and “Ugly Guy, Hot Wife” tropes and a number of scientific studies have been made on the subject. What these studies seem to agree on is that while attractiveness is especially important for men, it surprisingly doesn’t rate quite as high for women, for whom height and salary are more powerful predictors. So perhaps if you get a better income and manage to get agonizingly painful shinbone-lengthening surgery to increase your height, you should be all set, right?
Well, not really. As of yet, scientists still need to paint a complete picture of the hot girl, ugly guy phenomenon. A ton of factors are at play, ranging from the biological to the cultural. Studies that were done on western couples, for instance, may not necessarily apply to Filipino couples. In any case, here are a few important things you should know if you find yourself annoyed when you see a hot girl with a guy you feel is less attractive than you are.
5.) The “ugly” guy probably deserves her
Regardless of what studies say about height and salary, good looks are still invaluable for getting your foot in the door. Compared to good-looking men, so-called uglier men have to work harder to be in the game. Guys who are considered to be good-looking will often have a far easier time landing dates. And believe us, it’s almost an incredibly unfair advantage.
A few years ago, a bodybuilding enthusiast who called himself Germanlifter did a social experiment where he used a stock photo of a male model as a Tinder pic and he sent women creepy PMs, just to demonstrate the sheer advantage good looks gives a guy.
In the original thread, Germanlifter says “The results are unbelievable. Every single girl I swipe yes to has been an instant match. There hasn’t been a SINGLE time where I have swiped yes and there was no match… The girls often initiate first and respond immediately when I send a message. Admittedly I did get turned down a few times only because I opened with stuff like let’s f**k.”
The advantage looks can give you is so overwhelming, it may even be disadvantageous later in life. A significant number of men who are considered good-looking report dissatisfaction with relationships simply because they never had to try very hard. When they age out of their looks, they’re often left with serious lack of character, which often leads to problems with partners down the road.
An ugly guy on the other hand, probably never had it easy with women, ever. As a result, they’ve probably had to try every trick in the book to up their game. And regardless of how they do it or how successful they are, you have to admire the work they put in.
4.) Weird looks can trigger a woman’s cuteness reflex
In many cases, ugliness and cuteness do go hand-in-glove. The same instinct that makes women gravitate towards cute babies and puppies may be the same mechanism that causes them to think an ugly guy is adorable. In other words, he might be making her feel gigil, a word most English-speakers don’t have available to them. Scientists, however, have come up with a lame term for the same idea: cute aggression.
You have to admit, with good hygiene, a decent sense of style, and the right attitude, most ugly guys can be easily be nudged into the “cute” category. That may very well be the reason that hot girl is head over heels when it comes to that not-so-hot guy.
3.) Ugly guys tend to be more grateful
All that hard work starting and building relationships will often build character. We’re not saying ugly guys are better people than good-looking ones, because that’s obviously not true. However, a study published in the February 2008 issue of the Journal of Family Psychology found that so-called “ugly guys” tend to be more supportive of their spouses, likely because at some level, they know they have it a lot better than their spouse does. When the woman was better looking in a couple, both are far more likely to act in a positive manner towards each other. The study goes even further and suggests that women mirror the positive behavior of the man, which leads to a self-reinforcing cycle of happiness in couples with an ugly guy.
There is also anecdotal evidence that shows ugly guys are far more likely to try harder in the bedroom, simply because they want to hold on to what they have a lot more. If true, then you lazier, good-looking dudes are certainly facing some stiff competition.
2.) Women may feel less paranoid about their relationship when they date ugly guys
Couples where both partners are highly-attractive are continually at risk because either partner knows the other one has options readily available. When a not-so-good-looking girl is with a much more attractive mate, there is an almost instinctive tendency to be paranoid, as men are far more likely than women to cheat in a relationship.
A woman who snags an ugly dude is also far less likely to be worried that someone else will try to take him away from her. With all the effort he took to get a hot girl in the first place, he’s far more likely to think twice about cheating on her than an attractive guy will, simply because he understands that he has more to lose. If you have a good thing going on, why put that at risk?
1.) The fact that you care an ugly guy can get a hot girl means you have a problem
It’s completely natural to wonder why attractive women go for less attractive guys. After all, even though we’re aware it does happen, it’s not something we see all the time. It’s also a far rarer occurrence than people of roughly equal attractiveness pairing off. When we do see these ugly guy- hot girl pairings, it seems to fly against what we understand about attractiveness, so it’s normal to remark on it.
However, many guys go beyond finding it interesting. Instead, they may find it quite annoying when someone they perceive to be less good-looking than themselves are able to land the affections of a bombshell. “What does she see in THAT guy?” you might ask, heavily implying you would be a far better choice instead.
Sorry to break it to you, but whoever someone chooses to date or sleep with is their own decision. As lousy or as ill-informed that decision is, she was still the one who made it, and it’s not really any of your business.
If you find yourself overly concerned that you can’t get it on with anyone good-looking but an “ugly” guy can, perhaps you should consider if you have an entitlement problem. It’s always incredibly loserrific and quite the turnoff whenever you see someone else unable to accept that some other guy did better than they did – at least in their minds.
If there’s one thing ugly guys with hot wives and girlfriends can teach us, it’s that in any endeavor, natural advantages like good looks and smarts will only help you put your foot in the door – and even then, there are no guarantees. At the end of the day, you will still have to put in the hours if you really want to make a relationship work, regardless of how hot the girl is.
Why do you think hot girls go for ugly guys? Is it simply about the money? Do they just think they’re cute? Tell us your genius theories below.