It doesn’t matter how good-looking, urbane, rich, or well-mannered you are. If you’ve been playing “the game” long enough, you’re bound to get rejected eventually. It’s just a fact of life, and it happens to everyone. Before you read any further, try to consider if you should just buck up and deal with rejection – after all, no means no… right?
That said, you didn’t click on this article to hear that. The principle of “no means no” still remains correct. If the woman says no, you should respect that. However, a “no” today can very well change over time. To add to the confusion, a lot of Filipina women do in fact play “hard-to-get”, and you’re not hip to her cues or if she’s not very explicit, it can be quite confusing.
So yes, even if you are rejected you still do have a chance. Kind of. If you’re ready to take another go at it, here are a few tips to get a girl back after she’s thrown your ass on the curb.
9.) Don’t reinitiate contact right away
Yes, we did kind of muddle up the idea of “no means no” earlier. But when she says “no”, it’s best to assume that she does mean no at the very moment she says it, and act accordingly for a couple of reasons. First, if she is serious about rejecting you, you really do not want to be that guy who comes out looking all entitled and rapey. Second, a little time apart will let the both of you better process the situation – are you even sure you want her back? Third, studies have shown that super-responsive men are more often seen as unattractive, which means your chances lessen the more you bug her about your rejection.
The period you spend not talking to her is often referred to as the “no-contact period”, and it’s a time tested-way to get good results, which are either a second chance or an amiable non-romantic friendship. While the length of time you should avoid contact depends on the situation, it’s safe to say you should give things at least a few days, if not more. Sometimes you might even want to wait a couple of months if the situation warrants it – which should still be worth it if the girl you’re pursuing is really all that.
8.) Expect the risk of total rejection
Persistence is often key when pursuing some women but you’re not going to win every time. Get over it. Or rather, get over yourself. Many men take rejection badly, which is natural. But if you’re feeling upset, watch out for what your true motives are. If the rejection actually feels like a personal affront, or if you’re upset that you spent a lot of money and effort on your dates or your attempts to win her back, it’s probably time to check your ego at the door.
7.) Be a gentleman
Always play the part of the gentleman, regardless of what happened. Offer to take her home, and back off if she says no. It doesn’t matter if you think she’s acted like a total bitch when she rejected you. Always take the high road and take her initial rejection as gracefully as possible. Swallow your pride for now and take the high road. If you want to win her over after an awkward situation, the first order of business for you is damage control. Reacting like a little pissant will drastically reduce your chances of meeting again in favorable circumstances the next time.
6.) Think about why you were rejected in the first place
We like the smell of our own farts, which is to say, we don’t immediately realize when we do something that’s offensive. It’s just human nature for us to be more accepting of our own flaws and mistakes than we are to other people who possess the same baggage. For all you know, she was completely justified in rejecting you.
If your mistakes were easily correctable (i.e. you were late, you acted weird to her friends) you can use that as a jump-off point for another date by apologizing for them and promising to make up for it the next time. If they’re not so easily fixed (i.e. you don’t have a car, you’ve got a face only your barber could love), then reconsider pursuing her unless you do manage to sort it out – though you probably shouldn’t.
5.) Find a common point of interest
If you managed to find out that you had something in common, use that topic as a jumping-off point for when you do contact her. Some guys will try to fake their way through, but we’d advise against it. She already rejected you before, so you have to assume she’ll think even less of you if she found out you were insincere. It’s best if you do have genuine interests that coincide with hers, or if she’s into something that you’re actually interested. In either case, it’s best to open up the topic then wait for her response so you can better gauge if it’s worth asking her out on another date.
3.) Socialize within a group, if you can
It’s really possible that the girl you’re after simply isn’t comfortable without other people around her. In this case, see if you can ease yourself back in the game by going out with a group of her friends, or common friends. Obviously, this won’t work if you invite her to an outing with a group of people that only you know, as the idea here is to put her at ease, which can be difficult you don’t all know each other.
2.) Don’t be too needy
Appearing desperate is the last thing you want to be. If she believes you don’t have other options, she might believe she has more leverage over you – making it likely she’ll respond positively. Being confident in rejection can make her wonder what’s up and make you look like the stud she foolishly passed on. On the other hand, looking needy can ruin your chances not just with her, but anyone else who might have been a dating prospect within her social circles.
To this end, avoid pathetic “sadposting” on social media and try not to give out any hints that the rejection affected you in any way. Try to at least appear that you’re enjoying life. When combined with the “no contact” rule, this can sometimes drive them nuts, which is what you want, because it gives you the control you need.
1.) Be mysterious
Keeping a few things on the down low is all-around good advice not just for winning someone over, but for keeping them as well. People who are an open book – well, they run out of stories to tell. And when that happens, what then?
Not putting your heart on your sleeve runs counter to the modern millennial-centric advice of sharing your feelings and being as open as you possibly can, but if you want to win the girl back, you have to forget that BS. It’s often necessary to hold a bit of yourself back, not only because very few relationships can start if we’re all 100% open to each other, but also because keeping yourself mysterious will pique her curiosity and keep her interested when you’re apart.
Another reason to stay mysterious is, that like men, a lot of women – especially those who are worth it – love a good challenge. Keeping the mystery alive, even throughout a rejection makes it more likely she will make the next move, or be more responsive when you decide that it’s time to reinitiate contact.
While the tips we laid out can definitely work in the right context, none of them will guarantee that you will win her back – and that’s not always a bad thing. No matter how you cut it, rejection sucks. However, it can be a valuable experience if you understand just exactly what’s happening. In the end, whatever happens, it’s all part of being human.