There’s no sense beating around the bush — men are biologically hardwired to be attracted to younger women. However, this isn’t the be-all end-all of attraction. While it makes sense from a biological standpoint, younger girls tend to be less mature, and less experienced. And frankly, it can get tiresome keeping up with all the insecurities they’ve yet to grow out of. All other things being equal, older women tend to be worldlier, more confident, and more experienced where it counts.
In practical terms, this means many men will find they have fewer things to talk about, and what they do have to talk about will probably be less interesting. Take note of that because older women tend to think the same way about younger guys.
The attraction to older women is not a new one. In 1745, Benjamin Franklin infamously cited 8 reasons why older women are better in a letter to a young friend, titled Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress. The reasons range from the comical (that the lower parts remain supple even when the face turns wrinkled) to the thought-provoking (they are better friends even when you’re sick).What’s funny about that letter is most of the reasons he cited still hold true.
If you’re ready to heed Benjamin Franklin’s advice and start pursuing older girls we outlined a few crucial things you should do. Note that the age differences matter less and less as you grow older and more mature. Dating a 45-year-old is not a big deal when you’re 35, but there will definitely be issues if you’re 25 or younger. Similarly, there will be consequences if you’re 17 or 18 and are dating a 25-year-old. It all really depends on context.
Look like you know how to take care of yourself
You probably like older women because they’re more independent and self-sufficient compared to their younger counterparts. Well, the street goes both ways. Older women will rarely waste time on anyone who doesn’t have it together. As we get older, we learn to value our time and we’re less willing to spend it on someone who will waste a good amount of your emotional and mental reserves for no good reason.
To be blunt, if you don’t pay your own bills or still live with your parents (rather than them living with you—huge difference), you probably should stop trying until you have that sorted that out. In the meantime, however, you can still look the part by dressing well and looking put-together. We have a ton of resources to help you up your style and grooming game. And if you play those games well, you’re sure to score points with the more matured set in no time.
Speaking of maturity, it’s probably about time you stopped acting like the kid that you probably aren’t. Show conscientiousness and a willingness to listen, and don’t be so willing to drop everything so you can go out with your barkada. We know it’s difficult, especially given the fact social media makes it so difficult to resist peer pressure these days, but at least try to play the part when the older, more-experienced object of your desires is around.
Speaking of social media, be sure to minimize the amount of shitposting or corny posts that you put out. These days what you post online can have a huge effect on people’s perception of you. If you’re dead set on pursuing older women exclusively, be sure to manage your privacy settings accordingly.
Act confident, but not arrogant
Younger women don’t always know the difference between confidence and arrogance, but more mature women are far more aware of it. While bluster and BS are often all you need to fool a young girl into going out with you, you’ll find older women don’t respond well to ham-handed arrogance masquerading as confidence.
Confidence shows a willingness to be self-deprecating and to let others talk or do their thing. Arrogant people have to make everything about themselves and only listen to others so they can reply. In other words, make sure you talk way less than she does.
Learn to read context clues
A huge part of maturity is understanding things that are left unsaid. Older women, in general, will find it to be a huge turnoff if they have to explain everything to a guy. Remember, that they value their time way more than younger women, so it naturally follows that they don’t want to waste any time explaining things that should be basic to those of a certain age.
This is especially important in social situations where you don’t want to overstep your bounds or appear to be like the total loser we’re sure you aren’t. Be sure to keep your mouth shut when you’re in doubt and to observe how she and her older friends, and family are acting.
Learn about her interests
Don’t assume you understand anything about her generation, because most of what you know is probably wrong. You might find that if there’s a significant age gap that your idea of her interests and worldviews may not may not accurate at all.
A funny thing happened in the aftermath of the Classic Pare® Titos and Titas of Manila Facebook group’s recent explosion in popularity. Many younger people fetishizing stereotypical “tito-ish” interests were quickly left out of the loop simply because many of their preconceptions of older generations were flat-out wrong. These stereotypes not only lacked nuance and a deeper understanding of generational differences but also failed to account for the diversity of opinions and interests. For instance, just because a lot of Gen-X women came of age when Reality Bites came out, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re interested in someone like Ethan Hawke. You might even be surprised to know that a lot of Gen-Xers still actively despise the Eraserheads despite their near-universal acclaim with younger generations today.
Instead of making assumptions, ask her outright what she likes and finds interesting. We can assure you that you will definitely be surprised.
Mind your manners
Understand that as a younger man, you will not generally be taken as an “equal” by her friends and family, at least, not at first. If you’re in your early 20’s for instance, they probably have every right to expect that you will act like an immature manchild, given that Pinoy society is incredibly conducive to creating these abominations.
Until you win them over (which might never happen), treat them with due respect and deference. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it can also put a mature woman at ease by ensuring that you won’t embarrass her in front of other people. Besides – good manners are always a huge turn on!
Don’t think (too much) about the age difference
Avoid fetishizing them solely for their age, because let’s face it – that’s when it gets creepy and completely dysfunctional. There’s a lot of thrills to be had with an older woman, but the novelty will wear off pretty fast if they’re not the right fit for you, it really doesn’t matter what age they are. The same actually goes if you’re attracted to a younger woman solely because they’re young, or someone with a hot body. You can’t always be “on” 100% of the time, and the pillow talk will get pretty boring if you have nothing else in common.
At the end of the day, older women are still people. They may be a little wiser, and perhaps less idealistic than those in your age group, but they will still have their own share of hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Learn to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are, and the rest will follow.
Have other tips for attracting older women? Comment below.!